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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28565214">let you love me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julsemo/pseuds/Julsemo'>Julsemo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Uzumaki Naruto, Denial of Feelings, Drama &amp; Romance, Feelings Realization, First Time, Hatake Kakashi is Bad at Feelings, Heartache, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Open Relationships, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Requited Love, Songfic, Top Hatake Kakashi, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28565214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julsemo/pseuds/Julsemo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They are in love with each other, but talking about feelings is hard.<br/>Why is it so hard to say three little words?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149428</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>140</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>let you love me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>//Let you love me by Rita Ora//</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I should've stayed with you last night</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Instead of going out to find trouble</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Fleeting caresses and gentle touches in the Hokage tower when no one could see them. Kakashi pulled Naruto inside one of the empty rooms and their lips met in an urgent bruising kiss. Naruto tugged on the silver hair and moaned when he felt Kakashi’s tongue rubbing against his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did you return from your mission?” Naruto panted against the other's lips. He wrapped his arms around the other man possessively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just now.” Kakashi whispered and tenderly looked at the blond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto felt his insides melt when Kakashi smiled at him. His flack jacket was still dirty from the mission and his journey. Seemed like Kakashi hadn’t even been to his apartment yet. Naruto’s fingers brushed through the silver hair and pulled the Jonin back into a passionate kiss. “I missed you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi pushed the blond against the wall behind Naruto’s back. He let his weight rest on his arms that were propped up against the wall behind them. His tongue was lazily rubbing against Naruto’s and he moaned when he felt Naruto sensually press his body against his own. One of his arms travelled down and started to gently caress Naruto’s hips. He couldn’t even remember if he locked the room. When he returned to the village and went to the Hokage tower to deliver his mission report he hadn’t even thought that he would meet Naruto, but as soon as his eyes locked on his lover he was pulled into his gravity. The sweet alluring smile and the fleeting touches made him acutely aware how much he had missed Naruto on this two-week mission in Suna. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I think I run away sometimes</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Whenever I get too vulnerable</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi pulled away from Naruto and saw all the unspoken emotions swimming in the beautiful blue eyes. He touched the soft whiskered cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was your mission alright?” Naruto carefully asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I am just tired.” He answered. Why couldn’t he just say ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>I missed you too</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’ He bit his lip and pulled his mask back up. He had missed Naruto so much while he was on this mission he could barely stand the distance between Konoha and Sunagakure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We… could meet later.” Naruto looked at him shyly. The blush on Naruto’s cheeks made him look so sweet and even more beautiful. The blond took his hand and entwined their fingers. “If you want,... Kakashi?” He looked up into Kakashi’s eyes through his thick lashes and made sure that the older man understood. Of course, Kakashi understood. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>They had this thing going on between them for the past couple of months. It must have started shortly after the war. Kakashi thought that it was just a one-night stand and he felt extremely guilty that this had happened with his student, but then it happened again and again and suddenly he found himself in this ‘relationship’ with Naruto. It actually wasn’t a relationship at all, because he couldn’t do relationships. He couldn’t be close to anyone, but Naruto was different, and every time they met it was getting deeper and more intense. They got closer and more involved with each other. He could feel how Naruto took him apart and put him back together. He could feel himself wanting to be closer to Naruto and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to feel about that. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna lay with you 'til the sun's up</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna let you inside</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Heaven knows I've tried</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The night before his two-week assignment in Suna they had met at Naruto’s place to watch a movie together which Naruto was allowed to pick. They didn’t get to the end, because when the ninja princess finally kissed her handsome bodyguard, Naruto was already sucking Kakashi’s cock so hard that he was seeing stars. By the time the credits were rolling the blond was holding onto the back of the couch and was screaming Kakashi’s name, while the Jonin was slamming inside Naruto so hard his eyes were rolling into the back of his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat down at the edge of Naruto’s bed and gently brushed through the disheveled blond hair. His eyebrows drew together, and a frustrated sigh escaped him. Naruto should find someone who wasn’t so broken. Someone who could love him more freely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto was already compromising on so many things for him. He didn’t tell anyone about their meetings and their sexual relationship, while all his other friends were starting to date and having their relationships. Of course, there was also this deep possessive and jealous part inside Kakashi that was glad about their secret affair, because he wanted to keep the blond only to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand was gently brushing a few strands out of his face. Would it be so bad to let someone inside his heart? Would it be so dangerous to let Naruto inside? He had watched friends and comrades fall in love and some of them had even married over the years. Maybe being in love and letting someone else love you, wasn’t so bad? He had often tried to imagine what it would be like to open up about this to Naruto, but he was too afraid that Naruto didn’t want all his emotional baggage. Naruto was 13 years younger than him and he was a war hero now, maybe he just wanted to experiment, and he felt most secure to do so with his Sensei, which was totally fine with him. The sex was phenomenal, and they were good friends, he had never felt so compatible with another sex partner before. Naruto was just so open and natural about everything. When they first fell into bed with each other Naruto didn’t know what to do, but he looked at Kakashi with a smile and just waited for the other man to guide him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s touches and kisses were addictive and Kakashi couldn’t help but wish that feelings and attachment weren’t such a problem for him. He wished that he wasn’t so scared of Naruto’s brilliant smile and his soft caresses, because they pulled him closer and he didn’t know how to be without them anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left Naruto while the moon was still high. He took his clothes and quietly left the apartment when Naruto had fallen asleep. He had never been good with words or feelings, but he knew that Naruto was special to him. He just didn’t know how to convey such feelings. Whenever he looked at Naruto’s smile, he could feel his heart race and became acutely aware that this was getting too real.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish that I could let you love</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I wish that I could let you love me</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>What's the matter with me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They sometimes met for dinner at Ichiraku or for a Movie that they barely watched. They always met at Naruto’s place which made it easier for Kakashi to leave. He had never stayed the night and he had never asked Naruto to come over to his place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun was high in the sky and the light was almost blinding when Kakashi raced through the desert. He didn’t say goodbye. He never did, but he could still hear Naruto’s sweet moans in his ears. His nails digging in his back. Screaming Kakashi’s name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to concentrate. This mission was important. Tsunade had sent him to Suna for political reasons. His teammates turned around to look at him. “Are you alright Kakashi-san?” He travelled with a small squad of Hyuuga and Nara shinobi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course. I am fine. Just thinking about a little fox.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other shinobi were looking at each other. Maybe they understood what he was saying. Maybe they didn’t. Maybe they were just being tactful and decided not to comment on what he was saying. They continued their journey and Kakashi was left alone with his thoughts about his little fox. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>and every time it gets too real</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>and every time I feel like sabotaging</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I start running</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure how Naruto was feeling about all of this. They had never really talked about this. Somehow, they have assumed their roles and their schedules and Kakashi felt that maybe, they had missed the moment of actually talking this through. Maybe he was glad about this. Maybe he wanted to avert talking about this. He was afraid what ‘talking’ could mean. If he kept a certain distance from Naruto it would also mean that he was protecting himself. Naruto would probably end this anyway very soon. He saw the way his admirers were looking at the blond, especially the beautiful young Hyuuga Heiress. Hinata was still desperately in love with Naruto and Kakashi had to admit that it would be a good match. Politically. He had listened to some of the other Jonin gossip. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>They were right of course. The Hyuuga were one of the strongest and most influential Clans in the village. Should Naruto decide to marry Hinata it would be most beneficial to him and the Clan, since Hinata’s husband would be the Nanadaime Hokage and the Clan could support him in council meetings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi felt an ugly burning pain bubble up in his chest. He shouldn’t feel this way. Naruto wasn’t his. They were not in a relationship. He was free to love, fuck and date whoever he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that he was running away from facing his own true feelings. He didn’t want to face the fact that he had fallen madly in love with Naruto and that jealousy and heartache was slowly eating him alive. He tried to push Naruto away because he was too afraid of facing rejection. Kakashi was also fighting with himself about wanting emotional attachment with Naruto and the anxiety of what emotional attachment means, almost made him spin into a panic attack. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And every time I push away</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em><br/>
</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>I really wanna say that I'm sorry </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>But I say nothing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We… could meet later.” Naruto looked at him shyly. The blush on Naruto’s cheeks made him look so sweet and even more beautiful. The blond took his hand and entwined their fingers. “If you want, Kakashi?” Kakashi tried to calm his heart. He could feel Naruto’s hands gently caressing his palm. Their gazes met. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Need.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Desire. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Love.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Insecurity.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looked at their entwined hands. “Maybe another time Naruto. I should really go home and get some rest.” He could have just invited the blond over. What would Naruto do tonight? Would he meet someone else? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not a relationship. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We are not together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto looked at him and for a moment the Jonin wasn’t sure if the rejection had hurt Naruto, because he let go of Kakashi’s hand to push his hands into his pockets and grinned up into Kakashi’s grey eyes. “Haha, of course. Silly me.” He pushed past him and quietly opened the door. “get some rest Kakashi-Sensei. See you soon!” The blond left the room and left Kakashi in the dark empty office room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why hadn’t he invited Naruto? He had actually wanted him to come over. He had missed him and wanted to spend time with Naruto. He couldn’t describe what he was feeling most of the time nowadays. He was too afraid that Naruto finally realized that this game they were playing was over and that he wanted something else. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Naruto wasn’t the type of man who could keep his feelings hidden after all. Naruto was such an expressive and emotional man. Kakashi was sure that there were no great feelings involved on Naruto’s part since there had never been any declarations on Naruto’s side. It was probably just his own heart that he was risking in this game. Maybe he was sabotaging himself. Maybe he should have talked to Naruto. He groaned and brushed some hair out of his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi was afraid of his own intense feelings that this affair was evoking in him. He had slowly developed feelings for Naruto, and it was scaring the shit out of him. He had never been in a relationship and he had no idea what to do with all those feelings that were racing through his body now. He had had several sexual partners over the years, but that was not the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>  Naruto was different. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span> I wanna stay the whole night</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna lay with you 'til the sun's up</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna let you inside</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was late at night when Kakashi heard a knock on his door. He got up from his couch and lazily walked to the door to open it. He was surprised to see Naruto standing in front of his apartment. “Naruto? What are you doing here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kakashi, Ah, Sorry! I know you probably wanted a quiet evening. You just returned from your mission, but I was just wondering… Do you want to watch ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ninja princess Part 2’</span>
  </em>
  <span> with me? I have it with me, so…” He blushed and looked at the little bag in his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi stepped aside to make room for Naruto. “Sure. Come on in.” He locked the door behind Naruto and let the blond step inside. “I don’t recall much from part 1 though… I was kinda distracted when we watched that.” He jokingly said and walked back to his living room. He wanted to get the movie ready so they could watch it together, but suddenly he could feel Naruto push him onto the couch. His back hit the cushions and he looked up into feral blue eyes and a blushing face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forget the damn movie.” His mask was pulled down and Naruto straddled his lap. Kakashi moaned when he felt Naruto’s lips passionately press against him. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to let Naruto’s tongue rub against his own. He was still holding the movie in his hand. Carelessly he let it slide from his hands until it dropped to the floor next to the couch. The plastic hit the floor with a loud ‘</span>
  <b>tuck’. </b>
  <span>Finally, both of his hands were free again to roam over Naruto’s lean body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A desperate moan broke out of the sweet pink lips. Naruto sat up straight and eagerly ripped his jacket off his body. He looked down at Kakashi and the silver haired man could see something feral in the blue eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you so much, Kakashi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish that I could tell you how much you mean to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi stared into Naruto’s face and wished that he could simply say something. His feelings were crippling him. His body was trembling under the weight of his emotions. Why was this so goddamn hard? Maybe something was wrong with him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi’s hands travelled over Naruto’s back and he quickly helped the blond to get rid off the black shirt as well. His beautiful flawless skin was in front of Kakashi’s eyes and he just needed to reach out to touch him. His fingers slightly trembled when he reached for Naruto’s chest. Naruto moaned and entwined their fingers when Kakashi finally started to touch Naruto’s golden skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to come over, but you were gone for so long and I really wanted to see you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi couldn’t get his hopes up. This was just about sex. Naruto would leave him soon and he would be alone again. They were friends and this was nothing more than a sexual experimental phase for the young shinobi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Naruto asked him carefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heat of the moment was still tangible between them and Kakashi tried to stay calm even though he could feel his cock throbbing in his pants. “Yes. I am fine. The mission was just long and you know I don’t like the heat in Suna.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto leaned over Kakashi’s body and tenderly touched the long scar that was going through his eye that was no longer holding a Sharingan but a healthy normal eye, thanks to Naruto’s healing touch. The moment was full of unspoken things between them and Kakashi could see the desire in Naruto’s eyes, but there was something else that he couldn’t make out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate it when she sends you on the political ones… they take so long. I…” Naruto stopped and suddenly the expression on Naruto’s face changed completely. “I just don’t like it when you’re gone for so long.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Naruto…” He wanted to say something, but he could feel Naruto’s burning lips on his own and he forgot everything. His arms wrapped around the young shinobi and he could feel himself melt into the warm body on top of him. He gently moved his lips against Naruto’s who pressed his body closer to Kakashi’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could let you love </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I wish that I could let you love me</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>What's the matter with me?</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Wish that I could let you love me now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto wasn’t stupid or ignorant. He was very perceptive. Especially when it came to Kakashi he always did everything very carefully and slowly. He knew that if he wanted to be with Kakashi, he would have to take special care of the fragile state of Kakashi's emotions. When their relationship/affair/thing started, he was sure that Kakashi was mentally totally stressing out about it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be fair he had been stressing out about it too. That night when they had sex for the first time, had been Naruto’s first time after all. It was at the celebration after the war ended, and they had all been drinking a little too much Sake. They stumbled into one of the tents together, kissing each other heatedly and pulling each other’s clothes off. He could feel Kakashi’s hands all over his body and he was almost blacking out after his first orgasm when Kakashi’s was sucking his dick. He had never felt anything so hot, until Kakashi’s fingers started preparing him. He had never given much thought about his sexuality, mainly because most of the time he was busy running away from the Akatsuki or saving Sasuke, but now that the war was over, he could finally think about other things like the wonderful long fingers of his Sensei fucking his ass. Damn, that must be his sexuality. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>When Kakashi pulled down his pants and slicked up his erecting with some lube, Naruto was sure that he had never seen anything more arousing in his entire life than Kakashi touching his own hard dick. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He had never begged anyone for anything, but when Kakashi’s cock was inside him, he begged for more. He had never felt something so intense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He always had very strong feelings for Kakashi, but after the war they started to spend more time together and Naruto could feel that he was drawn to the other man in ways that he had never experienced with anyone else. He wanted to be closer to Kakashi. He wanted to spend more time with him. He wanted to know how he felt, and he wanted to be there for him. The thing was, he also realized that Kakashi was a very private man and this thing between them was probably just that – a short sexual relief that the Jonin needed after the stress of war. Naruto tried not to get his hopes up whenever Kakashi kissed him or gently held his hand during their lov- sexual encounters. Kakashi would never want a relationship with him. He was 13 years younger than Kakashi and he was so inexperienced in everything. 
Tsunade had just promoted him to Chunin and he was allowed to go on more important missions and help out in the Hokage Tower, which made him incredibly proud, but he was sure that Kakashi would never see him as someone he wanted to be in a serious relationship with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever he looked at Kakashi he wished that the other man could see more than just a student with blond hair and a stupid grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s the matter with me? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Why couldn’t he be more like Shikamaru? Cool and analytical. Or more like Sakura and Ino? They knew so much more about this love stuff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t matter. He would do whatever Kakashi wanted. He just wanted to be close to him. He was pretty sure that Kakashi wasn’t the type to date, go to some romantic dinner, hold hands or something stupid like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I wish we could do that… </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thought longingly as he walked through the long hallways of the Hokage Tower. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I miss him so much. I wonder when he’ll be back.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly he was pulled inside an empty office and he could feel hot lips pressed against his own. He moaned when he saw Kakashi’s beautifully pale face in front of him. He possessively wrapped his arms around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kakashi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna lay with you through the sunrise</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna show you that you're my only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha, of course. Silly me.” He pushed past him and quietly opened the door. “Get some rest Kakashi. See you soon!” The blond left the room and left Kakashi in the office room. Naruto felt so stupid when he pushed the door open and quickly ran outside to leave the Hokage Tower and raced through the village back to his apartment. Tsunade didn’t need him anymore anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slammed his apartment door shut and sank down on the ground. Oh God! Why did he have to ask Kakashi that?! He would probably think that he was needy. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am though.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Naruto thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I am needy. I need Kakashi…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He buried his face into his hands and tried to swallow a desperate cry. What was Kakashi doing tonight? Was he going to meet someone else? Was he going out with someone else? Naruto bit his lip. What happened on the mission? Did something happen between Kakashi and one of his teammates? Naruto had stolen the mission files from Tsunade to read what kind of mission she was sending Kakashi on. He had also read about the other members on the team and even he had to admit that this Nara woman was beautiful. He cringed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had never talked about any rules, but Naruto had never been with anybody else. He never asked Kakashi what happened when he left the village for missions that took two weeks or longer. This was not a relationship after all. Maybe it was his own fault, because he wanted to give Kakashi all the freedom that he needed. He knew that Kakashi had problems with emotional attachments and he didn’t want to be the one who made Kakashi uncomfortable in any way just because he wanted to be close to him in… in </span>
  <em>
    <span>every way</span>
  </em>
  <span> possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got up and went to his bedroom to lay down on his bed. He rolled onto his stomach, pressed his face into the pillow and screamed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel a deep pain in his chest. He wished that he was a little braver, because then he would be able to tell Kakashi that he was truly madly in love with him. He sniffed. He could feel the first tears run down his cheeks. Damn it all. He fought against Uchiha Madara and Pain, and he couldn’t tell Hatake Kakashi that he was in love with him?! </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell is wrong with me? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto brushed away the tears from his eyes and got up from his bed. He would do it. He would do it tonight. He would tell Kakashi how he felt!</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna lay with you 'til the sun's up</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna lay with you through the sunrise</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He could hear Kakashi say his name so softly. He wanted this so much. He wished he knew more about love. He wished that he wasn’t so afraid of this. He had always been alone. When Naruto’s eyes wandered over Kakashi’s pale face he wished that Kakashi could look at him with the same love that Naruto held in his heart. It would soon drive him mad; he was sure of that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands gently touched the scar that was the last reminder of Kakashi’s painful past. He wished that Kakashi would let him inside and let him take care of him. He would make him forget all the painful things of his past. He would never leave him. He could feel his body start to tremble. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Naruto?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I am sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They slowly pulled apart and Naruto brushed some of the blond hair from his face. He moved away from Kakashi’s lap and got up from the couch. “I should… I…” Naruto stuttered. “I should probably leave. You are tired and I am… I am stupid.” Naruto could feel how an uncomfortable blush heated up his cheek. He was such an idiot. Why did he believe that he would be brave enough to just come here and tell Kakashi what he really felt? He grabbed his shirt and his jacket and made his way to the door. Naruto pulled the shirt over his head and quickly pulled the jacket around his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the living room he could hear the rustling noise of the cushions on the couch and suddenly Kakashi was by his side to grab his hand. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” Kakashi asked. Naruto’s heart made a painful jump when he saw the worry written all over Kakashi’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, I am alright. I just….” Naruto was looking for the right words. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I couldn’t wait to see you. You said you were tired, but I cannot stay away from you? I love you and I need you? Why don’t you let me hold you? Why are you always leaving me after you fucked me? What are we? I was hoping that when I come to your place, I could stay with you? Please don’t be with anyone else. I want to be the only one.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto looked down at his hands. “I just thought that maybe you wanted… me.” His heart was racing, and he could feel his throat closing as he desperately tried not to cry in front of Kakashi. Did love always have to hurt like this? Because he was sure that he wouldn’t survive this much longer. The anxiety and the pain surely were killing him. This was so much worse than fighting Madara or the Akatsuki. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly he could feel Kakashi’s arms around him. Kakashi’s fingers were digging into his back. The silver hair was obscuring his view, but he could feel Kakashi nuzzling his face into his neck. “I do. I want you. I want everything about you. So much. You are driving me insane, Naruto.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto was trembling in Kakashi’s arms and he could feel how the tears were finally streaming down his cheeks. “But I… I mean it like –“ What did he mean? Naruto wasn’t sure what he was going to say. The Jonin lifted his head from Naruto’s shoulder and their gazes met. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to be with Kakashi. His heart was burning for this man. He could see the open and tender look in Kakashi’s eyes. He wished he could be the only one that Kakashi looked at with that expression. He reached for Kakashi’s face and traced the scar and the tender skin under Kakashi’s eye. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He wished that his feelings and all his love somehow could reach Kakashi. He could barely breath when he looked into Kakashi’s stormy grey eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish that I could I let you love</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Wish that I could let you love me now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looked into Naruto’s teary eyes. He gently brushed away some tears from the soft cheeks. He wished that his heart wasn’t so broken and full of scars of the past, then he wouldn't be so afraid of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto gently traced the scar and the tender skin under his eye. Kakashi couldn’t look away from Naruto’s ocean blue eyes. They were still swimming with tears and Kakashi wasn’t sure what kind of situation they were in right now, but his entire body felt tense and his hands felt sweaty and a little shaky. Naruto pressed his body closer to Kakashi’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your eye. When I touched your face that day, I had hoped that maybe I could give you something to make all the pain of your past disappear. I wish…. I wish I could be… so much more to you, Kakashi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi gasped and looked at the young shinobi in his arms. Naruto was clinging to Kakashi and his fingers were digging into Kakashi’s shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand if you want this to be something without emotional attachments, but I guess I can’t do that after all, because I wish you would stay after you touch me.” Naruto sniffed and buried his face in his hands. “I wish you would let me in, because I would never leave you Kakashi. I just… I wish you would love me, like… like I love you.“ He sobbed brokenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi lifted Naruto’s face and pressed his lips passionately against Naruto’s. He couldn’t believe it. His heart was hammering against his ribs. He felt lightheaded. He could taste Naruto’s tears on his lips and he quickly pulled away. “Say that again. Please, say it again, Naruto.” He pulled the other man closer and buried his face in Naruto’s wild blond hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you Kakashi.” He whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi wrapped his arms around Naruto’s strong shoulders and swallowed heavily. “What if I did? Love you...” Kakashi whispered into Naruto's neck. Silence was engulfing them, and he felt like he was going crazy with every second that was passing. He couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled away a little and carefully looked at the younger man. He could feel the fear of rejection practically ripping his chest open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto looked at him. “You do?” he finally asked unsure. They stood in Kakashi’s quiet apartment and looked at each other. It seemed like finally all the questions and insecurities were breaking out of them. Kakashi shifted from one foot to the other and tried to get some of his security back by holding onto Naruto’s jacket. The rumpled orange material hung from Naruto’s lean shoulders. “I do.” He whispered. Was that actually his voice? He couldn’t believe that his voice sounded so insecure and broken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like… Love, where two people have an actual Relationship? Like… stay over for the night … kinda love?” Naruto asked slowly and his eyes were full of hope. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Kakashi hesitated for a moment. “That’s the kind of love I was referring to.” He clenched the orange material between his fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto sniffed again and brushed away some tears with the end of his sleeve. “Good. Ok. Dattebayo.” Kakashi could clearly see how Naruto’s hands were trembling. “That’s good, because that’s what I was referring to as well, because I… because I am so in love with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was this really happening to him? Kakashi pulled down Naruto’s hand and he could see a heavy blushing face and eyes that were overflowing with happy tears. “Bakakashi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Kakashi smiled. A real smile. He had never felt so happy before in his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I stay with you now?” Naruto whimpered when Kakashi pulled him closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Kakashi kissed Naruto’s cheek. “Please stay with me.” He nuzzled his nose gently against Naruto's cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s arms felt so warm and safe around his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you Naruto.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
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